wow, apparently I didn't look at the post well enough when i posted it...like my whole problem wasn't in the post...
anyways after reading through your suggestions I found most of what I needed to find except this:
How can I make the "reply-to" header contain the email address posted in the form? I read that this isn't a good idea(leads to email injection), and was wondering if there should still be a way to do it...I'll keep looking!
thanks for the advice, any more would be greatly apreciated!