In case anyone was wondering, I figured it out after 8 hours of searching. In the end, there was no post online ANYWHERE that actually explains this, even though people experience this trouble all the time.
Here is the deal: sometimes when you want to ‘map’ a domain through Wordpress.com, they actually buy the domain for you through godaddy and host it through google.apps. It seems like you’re being hosted through WP, but actually it’s google apps, and you use your site through wordpress.com. To make this more confusing, Wordpress also does sell domains and offers hosting, so when you google how to get help for all of this, you get a bunch of advice that doesn’t apply to you in your situation, but seems to match your situations perfectly.