I understand completely. It may well be that DreamHost's mailing services are not adequate for your bulk emailing needs. This is just one of the reasons that we make it so easy for you to use outside email if you need to, as you have full access to your MX records.
We are primarily a web hosting service provider and, while we are glad that the email services we provide in conjunction with our hosting plans are useful for the great majority of our customers, we fully appreciate that one size does not fit all and that the email we provide will not meet the needs of all users (particularly bulk emailers).
Good luck, and whatever you decide to do I wish you only the best, and a happy holiday season.
--DreamHost Tech Support