Scroll down to see the solution…I just wanna give you the whole story first.
So 2 days ago I wanted to install a script on one of my domains. Nothing unusual since I do this on a regular basis, except this time the people that make the script told me I need something running on my machine called IonCube Loader. I thought it would be easy to install, but it turned out to be a major nightmare for all of us that do not spend nights typing linux commands into a black and white terminal window.
Anyways, my first thought was “Dreamhost must have a step-by-step guide on how to do this…it’s a pretty common component…”. How naive I was… Their wiki page provides a more than cryptic page with basically no explanation on how to do it, BUT they put a big warning on the top of the page:
[b][align=center]The instructions provided in this article or section are considered advanced.
You are expected to be knowledgeable in the UNIX shell.
Support for these instructions is not available from DreamHost tech support.
Server changes may cause this to break. Be prepared to troubleshoot this yourself if this happens.
We seriously aren’t kidding about this. [/align][/b]
WOW thats an interesting warining…a hosting company that tells you that you are on your own…a bit harsh. Alright, but what if I’m NOT an advanced user? Dreamhost support team will help me for sure I thought. How naive I was…
After 2 different support cases, both Travis T. and David H. were very polite when they told me “Screw you, we aint helping with this shizzle”.
For some reason these people fear IonCube Loader and perhaps ZendGuard too…didn’t ask about that one yet.
What is it with you people, why can’t you handle IonCube? Its an APP like many other apps, why cant you look into it? Why are you so afraid of it? Shame on you, its not very professional, you know.
Anyway, it took me a night of research and other POd Dreamhost customers came up with this autoinstaller for your ionCube stuff. Enjoy this guy’s story, and then download his fix. Enjoy!
Here is the fix. It took a whole 47 seconds, seriously.