There is no need to apologize! Needing to learn something new does not make you "a pain" - we all have to learn new things all the time!
You won't see "Midnight Commander" anywhere in the Control Panel, as it is a "shell" program that you can use if you log into your server using SSH.
"Logging into the shell" via SSH puts you at the nix "command line", from where you can do *many more things (and do them generally faster!) than you can from the Control Panel. It is DH's shell access feature that is one of the biggest advantages of hosting with DreamHost . Using it does require that you learn a few new things, but once you have done that you will have much more power and flexibility from within the shell than any "control panel" can provide.
To run "Midnight Commander" from within the shell, you need to log into your server via SSH and type "mc" at the prompt, and hit the enter key.
To learn more about the shell, how to log in, and some basic "shell commands" and their usage, you should check out the DH Wiki page on the shell, and follow the links provided there for additional information on enabling shell access for your user(s), SSH, and other useful stuff!
While you are still learning your way around DreamHost, this is a good time to at least explore this feature a bit; any time you spend learning to use the shell will be well spent when you are faced with certain situations - you can do some things much better from within the shell and do other things from within the shell that you can do no other way (including running Midnight Commander!).