Thanks for the suggestion. Well, Dreamhost went ahead and changed Apache servers for us, and now our site is completely broken. Like, I'm not even getting Internal Server Errors anymore, it just says "Site Temporarily Unavailable." I can't find anything on Dreamhoststatus, so I'm guessing this is due to the Apache server change.
I am very unhappy about this. We have customers contacting us who are trying to order and can't. Considering the Christmas season is 1 month long, and every customer who visits and finds it broken probably ain't coming back, this is very very bad.