First verify you’re not doing the logging into the wrong user on the server thing… On Manage Domains in the dreamhost panel there is a listing for your domain. Make sure the “user” you’re logging into FTP matches the one listed here.
If that’s the case, then your best bet at this point is just delete you entry for your domain on Manage Domains in the panel, wait a few then re-add it.
There is no recycle bin or trash folder in this case. If you deleted everything it’s really gone.