Alternative DH Newsletter format


I’ve put up with the DH newsletter for years. Look, you guys are a vendor of services. Not even my crazy uncle sends monthly ramblings. Please provide a flag that allows us to get one of two newsletter formats: Standard and Business. The new Business format might only have 5 lines of content because that’s all there is in the 96k blocks of text that you guys think is humorous. I don’t have time for that crap. If I want funny I’ll go to a political website. And while DHSOTM is very nice and all, there are a billion sites out there and I don’t care about random profiles of sites from DH. That’s so 1996. What someone does on DH is not related to DH services or technical prowess. I’d be interested if you profiled usage that’s not typical for other hosts. I’d much rather see a periodic profile of your users who specialize in tools and services available on DH, like experts with Drupal modules, or WordPress, or performance, or anything else that causes me to choke every time I think about updating my websites.

I hate to be such a curmudgeon but you guys take eccentric way off the deep end with Simon Says and WTF and introductions that sound like a blabbing 5 year old. Here’s an example from today’s newsletter:

“Sooo - hey, where ya off to? Wait, man, hold up! Just wait a minute; let me think. You need a watch? Here, I don’t even need this watch. Ten bucks and it’s yours! Ten bucks! FIVE! Just…I’ll do it for five! Hey! I’m talkin’ here! Don’t walk away man. That’s not cool. Please come back.”

Seriously? Why do you think you’re entitled to waste my time with that?

Come back to something more “business-casual” and maybe I wouldn’t dread seeing the DH Newsletter in my mailbox every month.



I have to say that I quite enjoy the current DH Newsletter format and it is actually one of the few list emails from Companies whose products I use that I actually do read in full rather than skim or simply delete unread. So while I would have no objections to a list for people such as yourself who want a barebones product update email I would prefer to stay on a list with the current format.


I’m sad to hear you feel this way about our newsletter!
Our writer for the letter (Brett Dunst) has one heck of a sense of humor! But it is never his intention or our intention to offend, annoy, or cause any other negative feeling towards you or anyone.
I will pass along this message to see if we can get something in the works for our customers (like you) who prefer just the bare bone of what is happening here at DreamHost!
Once again, I am sorry if we have offended you in anyways and we always appreciate feedback!


For habbers - I understand that my preference should not apply to all, and this is why I asked for an option, not a replacement.

Justin - I have a huge sense of humor too. And there has never been anything offensive or negative in the newsletter- annoying … yeah. I just don’t want a full-length comedy skit coming from a vendor. I pay you guys for services, not comedy. I don’t want to have to filter through the comedy for the little actual information that’s in there - and I think the problem is that there is almost nothing ever in there that I care about. Very little “real” news that makes it worthwhile to endure the rest of it.

I want to hear that you guys have created a new API that allows us to create and maintain email accounts - and that you’ll slap the crap out of any site that uses these to send more than X emails or where it’s used for spam. (Substitute with any similar API updates but I’d really like to see that one.)

I want to hear that you have found a way to identify the random database issues that my forum software periodically emails me about.

I want to hear that you are offering online workshops and “ask the experts” about scripting and DH usage. Or offering new site monitoring tools.

I want tips on mySQL performance based on flags that you’ve found in my databases.

I want to know what kind of security audits you provide - or how I can run one myself. Any 777 files out there? Who can see my 775s?

I want to know when my PHP scripts (Drupal, WordPress, etc) are abusing your servers so that I can fix the issue for both of us.

I want to learn about the great infrastructure that you guys have created over the years to prevent mass failures - cuz I know it’s there but I don’t know anything about it. How do I know the company won’t fall over anymore with DNS issues or mySQL upgrades? I know you’ve addressed those issues but how do new customers know anything about that? “Simon says if a plug gets pulled from the wall, your server won’t fail - and here’s why.”

I want to learn about the top 50 things irritating your customers, how long these problems have existed, and what you’re doing about them.

I want a link to the top 10 most informative threads from this forum from the previous month so that I can learn more and improve how I use and/or sell the services.

I want to understand how you train your phone and/or email support people. Because I really REALLY hate spending time with clueless support people (present company not included) and I want to know that when I contact DH that They are going to take business more seriously than the newsletters. That newsletter and the pictures posted to the company site give the impression that you guys are just laughing your way to the bank. That’s poor marketing guys. You need to demonstrate on a regular basis how you continue to earn our dedication - and this is one of the dedicated ones talking.

I want to understand the thought process given to various FOSS that you do and do not support. Let the fly on the wall tell THAT story. Understanding the software at that level will help us to understand why we should and should not use specific packages.

I want to hear how you’re working with the myBBoard people to fix the rich editor for this forum because it’s been broken for months and That’s why I only use the Quick Reply. (Click the button for unsorted list and it just shows “undefined” and then won’t close the tags.)

And I want to know what YOU do to manage your board and other software here so that WE can do the same with OUR boards for ourselves and our clients.

Sure, sprinkle That kind of content with humor and I’ll read it. Otherwise it goes where all other Unsolicited Commercial Email goes.

Thanks for your response, however it turns out.
BTW, this isn’t the first time that I’ve brought up this topic:


I think I would be more inclined to read the newsletter more carefully if it contained that kind of information as well. I wouldn’t mind the mindlessness in the newsletters if the format was more amenable to skimming, but unfortunately, it’s hard to skim, so I usually just don’t read it.